Only God nows how many neurons I killed last night. I drank myself stupid and started conversations with some people that seemed to basically disagree with the colour of my skin.
While I loved every single moment I spent with my friends, I couldn't help but overthink. I seem to be only happy when I work and when I am with friends. As soon as distractions go away, or as soon as I am not busy, that's when those retarded thoughts come back to my head.
Fuck, it's been a few months already. I sure would like to reach out again, but as soon as I plan it, I think that I need to move on, that it hurts like a bitch still, and that I need distance.
What doesn't help either is that my friend's girlfriend is trying to hook me up with whatever thing she deems "right", regardless of what they look like.
I know I'm not necessarily good, but I won't be any better having to deal with somebody I would feel no attraction for.
Anyway.
We had a terrible waitress last night. She got the four-star treatment, courtesy of both the guys and the ladies. I think she will remember us.
After that, we went to good old Clancy's. Great times at that place. Great times, overdrinking.
In the midst of terrible drunkenness, I aparently messaged somebody that I really shouldn't have. But it's okay. I passed out then. Then woke up, had water, apologised that drunken text, and continued to sleep. I must have slept for 15 hours. Don't remember any dreams. Sometimes I don't think I have any. I just remember dreaming when I slept over at Alicia's.
Today, Molly, a really cute girl I met a while back, she suggested that I try a different brand of merlot. I must say, shit's awesome. And she has a cute smile. It made my wine better.
I cooked meatza too. It turned out great.
my ideas are all half-thought today, it must be a hung over thing
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
lol, happy V8 morning.
It's 7:50 ish am. I have got to work and have 10 minutes, and figured I would write something instead of mindlessly stare at the corner behind my computer at work for the next 10 minutes.
So, V8. A lot of people has fallen for the way they advertise their products as being healthy and stuff. Even I fell for it. And I was gonna put this in my work out blog thing. However, due to how I'm gonna put it, and what else is gonna be on this post, I figured I might as well make a fucking joke out of it. Now that I have drank my last V8 juice.
V8 juice, splash, berry blend.
Yes, they said this stuff was healthy and yadda yadda yadda. And I bought it today at this Asian lady's store thingy at the train station.
The lady was nice. Well, she always is. She has a reason to. She's getting rid of her overpriced fruit punch and taking my money.
So I bought this bottle of delicious V8 juice. And since I have been rather freaking out about what I look like, I thought I'd have a look at the nutrition facts.
Now, pick your poision. On the left corner, verybody's favourite since 1886, Coca Cola classic. On the right side, so-called healthy beverage, a bottle of V8 juice.
355 ml of coca cola have 160 calories, 40 miligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbs of which 42 are sugars (lol, I wasn't expecting fibre in thatone) and zero grams of protein. Which just makes sense. Coca-cola has been advertised as a pleasure drink. Sugar-watery goodness. "Not a significant source of saturdated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, fibre, vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium, or iron."
Again, just makes sense.
Now, HALF a bottle of V8 splash berry blend. It says it's an excellent source of vitamin C.
Keep in mind, HALF a bottle.
HALF a bottle has 110 calories, 45 miligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbs from which 27 grams are sugars, zero protein. Vitamin A, 45% of your daily dose, vitamin C, 90% of your daily dose.
Whether the sugar was added or not, ONE BOTTLE, NOT HALF, has 54 grams of sugar.
The vitamins, well, most people take suplements, do they not?
I might as well put a drop of those concentrated vitamin C in a can of coca-cola.
I didn't think I would ever say this, but what is marketted as a healthy beverage that's shown like if it was made of fruits, its made all from concentrates. I basically paid $2.50 for overpriced fruit punch. Tasted just like kool-aid brand fruit punch.
Or I could do what Mrs. Speedy Gonzales did on the train at 7am, which was to have her favourite drink riiiiiiight on schedule. MORNING SAMBUCA.
I sure hope that her job is a brain-dead one in which no lives depend on her, lest she kill all of her coworkers due to a slight case of morning intoxication.
From now on, I will not bitch so much about sugars in coca-cola. This is surprising.
Coca-cola, I still love you.
So, V8. A lot of people has fallen for the way they advertise their products as being healthy and stuff. Even I fell for it. And I was gonna put this in my work out blog thing. However, due to how I'm gonna put it, and what else is gonna be on this post, I figured I might as well make a fucking joke out of it. Now that I have drank my last V8 juice.
V8 juice, splash, berry blend.
Yes, they said this stuff was healthy and yadda yadda yadda. And I bought it today at this Asian lady's store thingy at the train station.
The lady was nice. Well, she always is. She has a reason to. She's getting rid of her overpriced fruit punch and taking my money.
So I bought this bottle of delicious V8 juice. And since I have been rather freaking out about what I look like, I thought I'd have a look at the nutrition facts.
Now, pick your poision. On the left corner, verybody's favourite since 1886, Coca Cola classic. On the right side, so-called healthy beverage, a bottle of V8 juice.
355 ml of coca cola have 160 calories, 40 miligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbs of which 42 are sugars (lol, I wasn't expecting fibre in thatone) and zero grams of protein. Which just makes sense. Coca-cola has been advertised as a pleasure drink. Sugar-watery goodness. "Not a significant source of saturdated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, fibre, vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium, or iron."
Again, just makes sense.
Now, HALF a bottle of V8 splash berry blend. It says it's an excellent source of vitamin C.
Keep in mind, HALF a bottle.
HALF a bottle has 110 calories, 45 miligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbs from which 27 grams are sugars, zero protein. Vitamin A, 45% of your daily dose, vitamin C, 90% of your daily dose.
Whether the sugar was added or not, ONE BOTTLE, NOT HALF, has 54 grams of sugar.
The vitamins, well, most people take suplements, do they not?
I might as well put a drop of those concentrated vitamin C in a can of coca-cola.
I didn't think I would ever say this, but what is marketted as a healthy beverage that's shown like if it was made of fruits, its made all from concentrates. I basically paid $2.50 for overpriced fruit punch. Tasted just like kool-aid brand fruit punch.
Or I could do what Mrs. Speedy Gonzales did on the train at 7am, which was to have her favourite drink riiiiiiight on schedule. MORNING SAMBUCA.
I sure hope that her job is a brain-dead one in which no lives depend on her, lest she kill all of her coworkers due to a slight case of morning intoxication.
From now on, I will not bitch so much about sugars in coca-cola. This is surprising.
Coca-cola, I still love you.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
It's not depression.
What it is is just a bit of a heightened sense of awareness of how I have wasted my life trying to get those people I want, even if they don't reciprocate any feelings. I am sick of it. I am here for myself. That's what it's all about: me.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Bah.
I don't know why my depression has been kicking in again. I feel kinda lonely and down over stupid things. I realised that the only people I feel comfortable talking to is jilly.
I'm back to putting on that fake mask at work and everywhere whenever there's people. A stupid mask. Damn, I need to cut the crap.
I'm back to putting on that fake mask at work and everywhere whenever there's people. A stupid mask. Damn, I need to cut the crap.
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