Aw, Amber.

You really don't know how much you made my day by complimenting my smile. It's awesome.
I really wish I could just move to UK and chill with you guys.
Life is changing very fast, and still my days seem interminable and unchanged. Nego left Vancouver and is now in Seattle, jobless and without having completed his school stuff. God be with you, Nego. I know what it's like moving to a place with nothing but hope of getting ahead in life.
I haven't talked to Mel. I really miss her. But for some reason my interminable days seem to make me more aware of my self-consciousness than my loneliness.
I hate not having been to the event. I hate Camarao's way of thinking, I hate how the class is being ran, I hate my lack of friends, I hate my two ongoing personalities. At home and at capoeira, since I got nothing else going on.
Ah, Maria.. I have to go to her art exposition next Saturday. I wish I could buy something. However, her artwork isn't that great to my eyes, and second, her prices are ridiculous for a lady that purchases art supplies at the dollar store.
I'm tired... I'm ranting too much.
Mau.

This is annoying...

Beauty of the day:
Fry: "I'll always love you, but I've got to move on and find my life's purpose."
I'm really depressed over everything. I hate the fact that I'm stuck in a one-way crush and I just want to end it.
"Cram it down and shut the hell up."
I don't know what I'm gonna do at this point with my life. Right now I'm just waiting for any calls from any places in which I could hopefully get a job. God... my resume isn't properly set up.
Shit.
I want to play the new mortal kombat...

Royal Weddings and Peasant Sufferings

Ah, the Royal Wedding. So many ignorant statements about it... People don't seem to understand that for countries that still have a Royalty, this is a very meaningful thing. A beautiful couple, and all the possible things that royalty and money could bring to them.
And then there's me, sitting, thinking of how lonely it gets inside my clothes.
Having finished school, not going to summer school, and having been laid off... all these things are making every hour of my day interminable. I spent all Wednesday looking for work. I spoke to managers for the first time, unlike before. And now I wait.
I wish I could see Mel, but now, I have to use every penny I have to have my bills ready for when I get fucked by lack of money. Geez, I never thought I would be laid off.
There's too many things on my head... I don't know if I'll be able to help my mom.
And I'm jealous of my brother. What the hell, he's never done anything right, and gets rewards for it. What do I get?
I get interminable days.
The joy of being human.

It's hard to post this in the personal crap blog...

But it does feel like a rather personal matter.
I sent a message to my teacher and his wife saying I would help them with anything this summer as a way of saying thank you to them for everything they have done for me.
This was about half an hour ago. They are online. Ignoring my message.

I feel like shit for it. I had tons of respect for him up until last Saturday. I don't know what the hell happened still.
Shit.

Jealousy.

I miss Mel. Her post on plurk is about how much she loves her work and her coworkers. I'm sure they are mostly guys, all better looking than me due to physical labour. Fuck, I got no game...

Jesus, what should I do?

I used to not believe in bad luck. I thought things just happened. But shit, I am starting to believe more and more every day in it.
I'm feeling really lonely lately. The lack of people that I wanna call and tell of my shitty luck that would actually care makes me feel that this world is rather empty.

Late for videogames.

And it's not like I care, to be honest. I've done everything in this class and I'm just annoyed that my average is still low. What the hell, marks on posting on a discussion board? My ass.
Anyways, I got a few exams left. Stats on Saturday: that's what's got me scared shitless.
Oh, and electricity.
Today I'm lasting on 3 dollars. Well, $ 3.42 of 3.56 in total that I had available in my mom's account. I went to the dollar store and got cheap ass noodles (50 cents each lol), a bottle of pop, and some sugar stuff to last the day.
What a shit-job I've done with my life. My averages are shit, I can't concentrate, and my brother keeps pissing me off. I'm annoyed at this.This summer I want things to change. I gotta make them change.
Mau.

Life is like a chess game...

A really hard one. I'm tired of trying to make Mel like me. I feel like giving up. Maybe then I'll be able to see more Alternative Hypotheses to my life.
God fucking dammit, I'm stuck with the stats jokes...
Beauty of the days:
H.o.'s and H.a.'s.
Statistics jokes. Warm days. Ripped jeans. Beautiful women, good looking men, people walking pets, couples holding hands, and the light at the end of the EXAM tunnel.

O, fortuna.

I'm not necessarily happy with the way things are going right now. Happily enough, I'm in a pretty blank mood right now. I got a gut of the size of a hippo. I'm pissed at it.
I still feel bad for having hurt that child in class...
Mau.

What the hell, man.

Beauty of the day: Warmth. Girls are wearing ripped jeans. It's like they are gonna be a decent hit this year.
Today was a good day. I finally got more Aion music. I'm very happy about this.

Happy birthday me.

I'm 23 now.
I'm surprised that so many things have changed in the past years. I ended up here... I ended up hung over over Mel, I almost have no friends...
Today I got a text that really put me in a sad mood. One of the twins told me to celebrate my birthday by singing happy birthday over pizza with a lighter even, as long as it was with friends. What friends do I have? Almost none. At least none close. I'm not depressed, I just feel lonely, that's all.
I would love to have Stacy, Martin, Ryan, Karim, Mel, and other people that have touched my life, over for dinner or anything. But it's not likely to happen.
I have to change things this year. I need to make things take a different path. I don't want to be like this forever.
Beauty of the day: Stupid winter is playing jokes on us. However, it's nice to have cold days. It's nice to have a good occasion to dress in layers with scarves and cologne. I love dressing well. Especially when the weather allows for it.

Mau, I disagree with your way of thinking.

Beauty of the day: Jill's hair. Her hair is amazing. She's got nice eyes too. Jill, if you read this, you should feel proud and awesome.
Today I was almost late to math. Should be fine. I did realize that whatever I missed in problem solving on Monday was essential again, so I'm screwed again.
Mau should stop thinking of stupid things. Because of your shit you flunked your stats test. What the hell are you doing?
Move on. You don't need to worry about people that don't want you around.
Leave them behind. They appreciated you when you weren't there. Maybe they will when you're gone.