Newly painted wall.

...and newly passed out Mau.

I can't believe I did this.

I messaged Nikki. I don't know what's gonna happen next.

Hah, miserable.

Sunday, plans none. It sucks to realize that the only people I feel attached to are Jill and Karim, my two only friends.
I really dislike people, and it bothers me to feel so lonely.
My brother officially hates my guts. I really just wanna get out of this place. I wanna go far and make my life. I don't wanna feel like this anymore.

Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month Official Clip

Reading the wrong signals is my thing.

"I wish my boyfriend would say that."
Yes, I like you too.
God damn it, I at least hope it's not the wang guy. Well, his name is Dong. So, wang, dong, same thing. I really have bad luck when it comes to liking people. I'm still alright though, just somewhat disappointed at my mad awesome ganache reading people skills. People have been in relationships since like, highschool and shit. Me? Well... unstable people, "ii dun like you no more lolololol", and people that simply just wanted some breakup fun. This cup of tea tastes like pure shit.
Anyways, it's early and I gotta go to school.
Mau.

Well then.

I'm somewhat angry, but I feel ungrateful.
I've been on this paleo diet for about a month, and it angers me that nobody ever asks for my opinion when my family orders delivery food. They are separate meals, so I could have wanted, I don't know, something not so bready or greasy?
But no.
My brother hates me. He truly does. And it kinda hurts. It sucks that the only place where I can find peace is at school or in my room. But it gets very lonely here.
The batizado passed already. I got my yellow cord. I... hate... it?
This event was one of the biggest wastes of money I have made. I won't do next batizado. I'm angry about it.
I want gotta get around to other cities and see how stuff works.
Speaking of things, I hate it how other people got it so damn easy.
I have worked hard for everything I own. Shit, I still look at prices and compare the price to the equivalent number of hours in the sun working.
There are many things I've been angry about that are really ruining this shitshow. My rants even lack structure.
anyways... im gonna go sleep.
Mau.

Ah, the shitty end of the stick.

Sometimes, because of life's not-so-enjoyable events, I believe I got the shitty side of a deal. Family problems get in the way of everything, leaving me unable to focus on what really matters: my stupid active citizenship class. I mean, what the hell, values? voting? analyzing dramatic stories? in engineering? Good one. Here's a better one: give an useless queen a piece to dimension on autocad, then we will talk.
Tonight I'm supposed to write a paper. I bailed on capoeira tonight because of it, but no, how can that happen, when I have to remain home and listen to my brother's shit? I'm sick of this stuff. I really am.
Whenever we fight, I'm left looking at rooms for rent in hamilton. At least, that's close to school and my ears get some rest.
Goddamit, I wish I could move there.
This stuff isn't cool. I'm left with a lot of things in my head except the stuff I should write about.
Immigrants who acquired their citizenship through fake information, revoked citizenships, who gives a shit, when your brother is constantly screaming that he's not gonna call the cops on you this time? This shit is embarrassing. And I haven't done anything worth getting cops called on.
If I wanted to, I could, but I'm better than that. Not in his eyes... but I guess this business is done.
It's not a pretty story to tell. Whenever I say that my own brother has called the cops on me, they assume I'm some sort of a psycho, not that he's a mentally unstable fuck that called the cops on me for no valid reason.
Man, I wanna see Jill. She's cool. Hanging with her is fun. Tomorrow I'll see if she wants to grab some Chinese food.