Just not from where I'm actually getting it.
I like the fact that somebody wants to hug me and tells me that they want me. Yet, my head tends to wander because I cannot reciprocate. I want to be somewhere else with somebody else, not hiding anything.
I'm screwed. Now that it's a few weeks until I'm back at the flat tip of The Hammer, I don't think my anxiety is necessarily gone. As soon as I saw the name written down, it came back. I was more mature about it. After all, time does heal a bit and teaches us more than we really want. But it was there.
Maybe I should pull the fucking tampon out and grow some balls.
To make it clear: I am not comfortable doing what I'm doing with whom I'm doing it with. I would much rather it was kalinka.
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