On msn...
"I really dislike the fact that I want to talk to you and that I really care about you. know why? Because it hurts me. I wish you said something nice every once in a while. You think too mechanically. I don't. I follow my gut, and hope it takes me some place nice. It's stupid, and it's taken me to places that..."
-look like heaven. Places in which there's buildings made of white marble blocks with shining gold columns, and blue jewels hanging from lamps. It's a place that I can nearly even smell. But as I try to get closer to it, it backs away from me. I can't touch it, nor feel its warmth. I can't enjoy a second with it. It's like, I'm reaching for a golden cup full of water that will make my life eternal and fulfilled, and it's a tease that gets away from me. Life fills with frustration. Others can reach for their cup and drink from it, and be fulfilled and happy. These people... lucky bastards. People that want not purity nor honour. People that would not be able to deal with commitment. People that would give their own mothers for remuneration. People who aren't match for me.
I'm a champion of battles. I make dance out of fight. I get kicked, and all I do is smile and kick back. Life's pushed me and made me fall, and after every fall, I've stood up again. For I know there is no honour in giving up. I'm smart. I'm thoughtful. I'm ready. In 22 years of life, I've lived what many old men have not. I have been to several countries. I have been part of several social strata from the highest to the lowest. I have been challenger and challenged. I have been victorious and defeated.
But what is it to be victorious, if that which you want is a tease in the eyes of you? Life is full of defeat. Trophies lose their shine and turn to mud. Gold to dirt. Wine, to sour liquids. There is no victory here. There is only one curse of action: surrender.
What is Mau to do: would you have him surrender, or would you give him one tiny little thing to hold on to again?